Technology jokes around the world.

We humans have always had a taste for jokes. Laughter is a part of our daily life. Some people think different about the IT people. They assume that IT people don’t have fun. Well, they are wrong. The people involved with IT career may work much. They are dedicated to their profession and passions. But they are also humans like us and they make fun as we do. There isn’t much left to talk about. In this article, I will share some technology jokes. All these jokes are not authentic but sure you’ll love them. I have tried to share jokes that are most popular among others. So, start up reading and laughing. Leave feedback if you have enough time.

Window :

Wife says to her programmer husband:

Wife: Honey, can you close the window before going to bed?

Husband: Sure, honey.

Next morning wife woke up and saw her husband standing by the window with a mouse and a keyboard in his hand.

Wife: What are you doing with these honey!

Husband: Sorry babe, couldn’t connect these to the damn window.

Job:

At the end of a job interview, the boss asks a young engineer just passed from MIT,  “And what starting salary are you looking for?”

The engineer replies, “$125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.”

The interviewer says, “Great! We have the right package for you! Would you like to have a package of five weeks vacation with fully paid holidays, free medical, retirement fund of 50% of the salary, and a car on lease, maybe a red corvette?”

The engineer stands straight and says, “Wow! Are you kidding me?” The interviewer replies smiling, “Yes I am, but you have started it.”

This one maybe is the technology jokes of the decade.

Racist:

Hey, do not be racist. Racism is bad. Be like Mario. You know him? He was made by the Japanese programmers, is an Italian plumber, who looks like a Mexican but speaks English. What a person!

Addition:

My girlfriend couldn’t add 10 and 5 on her calculator. So I asked her what might be the problem. She replied, “Baby, I couldn’t find the 10 button.”

Customer care related technology jokes:

Once I called customer services of my cell-phone and was stoned hearing this “If you understand English, press 1. If you do not understand English, press 2”

Username:

All the email usernames are taken by people. That left us in jeopardy. In my company I have a colleague whose name is Martin Aware. His e-mail address is malware@company.com. My ex-boss’s name is Richard Stone and his e-mail was stoner@company.com. My name is James Pan. Every other permutation of my name was taken so I’m stuck with japan@university.

Technology jokes of the day? Yes it is.

Facebook in Real Life:

I’ve given up facebook in this New Year. Now I am trying to make friends outside Facebook while
applying the same principles. Every day, I walk down the street and tell passersby what I’ve eaten, how I feel, what I did the night before, and what I will do tomorrow. Then I give them pictures of my family, my dog, and me gardening. I also listen to their conversations and tell them I love them. And it works. I already have three people following me—two 
police officers and a psychiatrist.

Password Trouble:

I went to a couple’s home trying to fix their Internet connection. The PC was locked.
The husband called out the wife who was in the kitchen for the computer password.

“Start with a capital s, then 123,” she shouted back to him.

We tried S123 for several times, but to our surprise it didn’t work. So the husband called the wife in. When she entered the password, she muttered, “I don’t know what’s so difficult typing Start123.”

 

Case Sensitive technology jokes:

A client called my help desk saying she couldn’t send an e-mail. When I was done troubleshooting the problem, she interrupted me to ask, “Wait a minute, do I type @ in lower- or uppercase?”

Flash Drive:

I’m at the library, and for some reason, when I plug my flash drive into the computer, it doesn’t show up. I keep trying, but nothing happens. As an IT major, I know I can figure this out. So I spend 15 minutes changing settings and inserting and removing the flash drive. Then a girl sitting next to me taps my shoulder and says, “You’re plugging into my computer, not yours.”

LOL:

Mom: David, your aunt just passed away. LOL.

Son: Why is that funny, mom?

Mom: It’s not funny, David! What do you mean?

Son: Mom, LOL means Laughing Out Loud.

Mom: Oh no! I thought it meant Lots of Love. I have to call everyone back.

Using Siri:

I was using Siri app on my Iphone.

Me: Siri, call my wife.

Siri: Nia Mackmillan is not in your contacts.

Me: Nia Gibbs is my wife.

Siri: I’ve added Nia Gibbs as your wife.

Me: Call my wife.

Siri: Which wife?

Big Password:

While visiting me, my father asked for the Wi-Fi password.

“It’s taped under the modem,” 
I told him.

After some failed attempts to log on, he asked, “T-A-P-E-D-U-N-D-E-R-T-H-E-M-O-D-E-M, is it right?”

Customer care related technology jokes:

Woman: I have a Roundup Multi Purpose Sprayer that is broken. I need to repair  it.

Customer Care: Ma’am, we’ll need the exact name of the item. Do you have the box?

Woman: No, but it’s the Roundup Multi Purpose Sprayer.

Customer Care: Ma’am, we’ll need the box so we can have the exact name of the product.

Woman: Hold on. I’ll run out to my garage and get the box. (After a while) I have it. It says … Roundup Multi Purpose Sprayer.

Customer Care: Thank you for that information, ma’am.

Granny:

My grandmother called me once to tell me she’d got an e-mail account. “Great,” I said. “Send me a mail so that I can have your e-mail address.” I waited and waited, but she never sent it. Some days later, an envelope arrived—Granny had written the info on a piece of paper and mailed it to me.

New learning:

Finally I convinced my mother that it was a good idea for her to learn about text messaging. Her first message to me was? “Son,whereisthespacebar?

Lots Of Love:

“I’ll miss you, Great-Grandma,” wrote my mother’s great-grandson in an e-mail he sent before shipping out to Iraq.

“I’ll miss you too, dear,” she responded. “Stay safe. LOL, Great-Grandma.”

Poor Mom didn’t realize that LOL doesn’t stand for “lots of love.”

Tennis Elbow:

My friend Harry complained to me that his elbow is hurting today. I suggested him to go to a drug store. There are computers that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. “Simply put in your urine sample and the computer will diagnose it and tell you the cure. It only costs $10.” Harry filled a can with his urine sample. Then he went to the store. He put the sample in the machine and deposited the money. After a pause a slip of paper came out which has printed on it: You have tennis elbow. To recover, soak with warm water, and avoid heavy lifting.” Later that day he was thinking if this machine could be fooled somehow. He mixed some water from tap, a stool sample of his pet cat and urine samples from his wife and daughter. Harry ran to the store and entered the mixture in the machine. After some time, the computer printed the following message: “Your tap water has arsenic, buy a purifier. Your cat has worms. Get it some vaccines. Your daughter seems to be a junkie. Send her to a rehabilitation clinic immediately. And your wife is pregnant with twin girls. But sadly they aren’t yours.”

Programmer & Project Manager:

Computer ProgrammersOnce, a young programmer and his middle aged project manager were traveling on a train. They found seat next to a young girl and her grandma. Soon the train started to pass through a tunnel and all went dark. All on a sudden, a sound of a kiss followed by the sound of a slap came. When the train gets out from the tunnel, they all sat still without saying a word. The granny was thinking, “I’m glad she slapped him. How dare the guy kiss my granddaughter?”  Project manager was thinking, “I don’t know if he kissed the girl, but I wish she hadn’t missed him when she slapped me!” The young girl was thinking, “Wow! The handsome guy kissed me!  I wish granny had not slapped him hard!” The young programmer was sitting there with a satisfied smile on his face. He was thinking, “Life is good. How often does a programmer have the chance to kiss a beautiful girl like her? And slap his project manager all at the same time!”

Moneymaking:

Do you know how do programmers make money? One writes viruses, the other writes the anti-viruses.

I want to tale you another awesome technology jokes:

Showing Power

Wikipedia: I know everything!

Google: I have everything!

Facebook: I know everybody!

Internet: Without me you are nothing!

Electricity: Keep talking bitches!

Error Messages:

A young man had his desire to become a great writer. When we asked what he means by great, he said that he wants to write things which the whole world will read. Things that people will react to with emotions, stuff that will make people cry, laugh, scream, howl in pain and anger!

Well, he reached his goal. He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.

Valentine’s Day’s funny technology jokes:

Harry posted on his facebook account this valentine’s day:

Harry: Happy Valentine’s Day to All, especially Jasmine, Elena, Wendy, Helen, Lindy, Emily, Isabella, and all the other beautiful and wonderful women I adore.

His wife commented:

Jennie: You forgot your wife.

Mouse:

I was trying to explain to my five-year-old daughter the change computers had gone through. I showed her our desktop and told her that when I was in college, a computer of the same type was the size of a house.

Wide-eyed, my daughter asked me, “But how big was the mouse?”

 Business Policy:

My printer began to print everything faded. To repair it, I went to a shop. The store charged me 50$ for the repairs. Then the repairman told me, I should better read the manual and try to repair it myself.

Surprised by his talk, I asked, “Does your boss know that you discourage his business like this?”

He smiled, “Actually it’s my boss’s idea,” the employee replied. “We make more money on repairs when people try to fix their things by themselves first.”

Coffee:

The chef of my restaurant collided with one of the waiters one day. The waiter fell down and spilled coffee all over our computer. The next moment some dramatic crackling and popping sounds came out of the CPU. We opened the computer up and cleaned it. Then we turned the computer back on to see if it works.

“Please work,” the guilty waiter appealed.

A waitress replied from the side, “Should be faster than ever. That coffee was a double espresso.”

Expert:

software-developersThe computer in my high school desk suddenly stopped working. I tried to find out the problem for a while. One of my students saw me struggling with it and took over.

“Hard drive has crashed,” he said after some time.

I called the service guys and said, “My computer needs repair. The hard drive crashed.”

“How do you know? We can’t send someone based on your guess. How do you know that’s the problem?”

“One of my students told me,” I answered.

“Oh! Then it’s ok. We’ll send someone over there right away.”

 

So, This is some funny technology jokes that’s make our mind fresh and fresh mind can help us to go ahead. Stay happy, be happy, keep happy for get pleasure in your everyday life.

 

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